How comfortable are you with recognizing the following universal human needs?
I ask because many of us may experience shame- a feeling of defectiveness at merely having these needs. Having these interpersonal needs may make us feel vulnerable to others, and we may try to dismiss our needs. But they are here to stay whether or not we recognize, agree with, or try to wish them away.
The need to be in relationship with at least one other significant other
Within these relationships the needs include: feeling understood, secure in the knowledge that one is loved as a separate person in one’s own right, knowing that the relationship is truly wanted by the other and that each feels special to the other.
The need for touching and holding
This need can be a need for the expression of affection or tenderness, or the need for bodily contact or warmth, or a response to emotional need of protection and security
The need for identification
This includes the need to belong to someone or something larger than ourselves and is cherished by us – a group, a cause, an idea that we value
The need for differentiation
We need to sort out the beliefs and practices which we got from others that no longer fit us or no longer serve us. The essential statement is, “This is who I am; I am different.”
The need to nurture
We have needs to give time, assistance and caring to others. When we act upon this need, it meets both the others’ need an our own
The need for affirmation
We need to feel that our inner self is recognized, appreciated, singled out from the rest, unique, and openly admired
The need for power
Our need is to feel in charge of our lives, not to have domination over another. The need is related to having mastery over ourselves and competence over things and with people. Feeling powerless contributes to depression, and despair, and loss of courage and hope
