Self Doubt can increase as we expand. So it’s terribly important to keep being in charge of who is talking to you inside your head.

We need to recognize the inner critic and how it tries to suppress our creativity and productivity. It can show up as a voice in your head, or a feeling that communicates,  “I’m too old, too young, too poor, too rich to deserve, too unoriginal, too original to be understood, too hyper, too exhausted, too isolated, too connected with family & friends, too untrained, too squashed by previous training,” yada yada yada. It let’s you feel too little or too much. And certainly not worthy or able to make art.

I found some photos of old artwork from 1986-’87. Here’s one of  The Critical Parent. (To see a more complete description of the show these were in, go to http://sn.im/rwv55  [culvercityartistswaygroup_wordpress_com] )

The  Critical Parent has no eyes, so can’t really see the real person in front of him/her. His/her head is filled with judgments (3 little figures) about what “woulda, coulda, shoulda” be happening. The mouth spits out ugly venomous statements. When he/she is talking to you, you get to feel “not good enough” and “too much.”

Whenever I facilitate groups, I make sure I have done the homework myself. This is moi, going on an Artist’s Date with myself. (The dates are designed to do by oneself.)

I had such a great time!

For a flier describing the particulars, click on the following link:

http://sn.im/ntno3  [tweetcube_com]

Posted in Uncategorized ]]> http://drjanebolton.wordpress.com/2009/07/23/another-new-artists-way-group-forming/feed/ 0 drjanebolton http://drjanebolton.wordpress.com/2009/07/23/180/ http://drjanebolton.wordpress.com/2009/07/23/180/#comments Thu, 23 Jul 2009 22:36:48 +0000 drjanebolton http://drjanebolton.wordpress.com/2009/07/23/180/ ]]> #Los Angeles #Artist’s Way #Creativity Group forming http://sn.im/ntno3 [tweetcube_com]

When we talk, we have to access the word-based “thinking” part of our brain. That in itself helps down regulate (reduce) our distressing feelings. Shame is one of those painful feelings.  So it follows that to talk about our experiences of shame reduces its power. And when we do it consistently, our overall self esteem will be raised.

Counter-intuitive, right? People who don’t know this principal naturally want to try to hide their shame experiences, often afraid that if they feel shame, that another person will also see them as defective.

Au contraire. A way to defuse shame is to  simply express it, instead of further hiding or disguising it.

In “The Courage to Heal,” authors Laura Davis and Ellen Bass write that “one of the most powerful ways to overcome shame. . .   is to talk” about it.  “Shame exists in an environment of secrecy. When you begin to freely speak the truth about your life, your sense of shame will diminish.”

You just have to be mindful of which people are shaming people, and which aren’t. Then chose the safe ones to share the things you feel inferior about.

Salamanders show shame too.

This is adapted from a scientific paper originally written by researchers, Jessica L. Tracy and David Matsumoto.

“Shame is recognized across cultures from a simple head tilt downward but the full shame display may include slumped shoulders and narrowed chest—behaviors similar to the ‘‘cringing’’ and lowered posture associated with submission in a range of animal species including chimpanzees, macaques, baboons, rats, rabbits, crayfish, wolves, elephants, seals, and salamanders.

These findings raise the possibility that pride and shame behavioral responses may be human universals, evolved to serve unique adaptive functions. Given that pride occurs in response to success, its nonverbal expression may function to signal an individual’s success to others, thereby boosting status.

The expanded posture and outstretched arms associated with pride may have originated as a way of appearing larger, allowing for the assertion of dominance and attracting attention.

Similarly, although displaying behaviors associated with shame or submission requires individuals to place themselves physically beneath adversaries and thus within their control, doing so may indicate the reality of their submission.

This display likely originated as a way of conveying acceptance of an aggressor’s power, thereby removing the need for conflict and sparing resources. In humans, the ancient submission display may have been ritualized into a shame expression that also serves a secondary function: appeasing onlookers who observed the failure by nonverbally communicating an awareness of one’s transgression, the individual can maintain his/her reputation as a trusted group member who accepts social norms.”

Goethe wrote about crying, “It’s not the tears we cry that hurt us, but the one’s we struggle not to cry for they drip within our sad and weary hearts.”

Here’s a “Do” for crying.

This is a tip especially for women. How not to cry.

Chosing Gives Power and Self Esteem

New PsychologyToday Blog Post: ZEST BUILDERS AND BREAKERS: THE POWER OF CHOICE http://sn.im/jpgbt [blogs_psychologytoday_com]